the future

the future
can you really plan it ?
you can imagine as to what you want to be doing but can you REALLY plan it
i don't think so .
i mean you can have an idea as to what you would love to be doing or who you'd you like to be . i want o be a teacher but that might not happen who knows . i mean i believe that it will happen ....but really will it ?? no one really knows for sure .
but i hope that the future is great for every person who deserves an amazing future and even if the don't quite deserve it they should still get it .because everyone deserves a second chance EVERYONE (unless they are malicious murderers or something )
well thats all i got to say .
peace

I'm done for good

i can forgive, and i can forget, but i hope you know you've lost all of my respect

So i saw a person today who at one time i cared for and who i would do anything for and all i could think of was "i wasted time ,tears and words for you " wow what a waste of all those things.
Even tho i felt sick to my stomach when i saw the person , i knew deep down that ever trying to get that friendship back would be a BIG mistake it never was realy a good thing .

It only caused me pain , now i'm not saying that i never had fun with this person cause trust me i did.

but all i can think of now is how i could have been doing so much more than trying to help that person fix theire life when mine was spining completly out of controll .

and now I want NOTHING to do with that person.
i'll probly see them again but i will NOT take notice or let on that i do .

not sure what to do

I don't miss him , at lest i'm trying not to so hard .
I don't want to miss him .
but something inside me says that we're suppose to see each other again , that this is just a phase thate we're going thro
but another thing says no its not
your not friends anymore
face it and get over it
but its soo hard

i need to let go of him i need to not think about him again just not again

false friend (ships)

you think you know someone , you trust them .....and then something clicks in you ....you don't realy know them ...you never realy did
their a false friend , it was a false friendship ....so false that now its over and your not even sad .
yes your sad to lose a person but your not loseing a friend ....they never realy were a friend ...they were just some person who you trusted with your life ...just some person who you would have done anything for ....just some person you did 100's of things for .
just some person
just some false friend,

and now you've lost this false friend and you would think that when losing a friend your world would feel as if it was falling down around you . but with this false friend it feels as if your world is becoming better .

people told you that this false friend was never really your friend . and you never believed them .
but now you do . now you see what they were warning you about.
they were warning you that this 'friend' was false and now you know.

now i know.

how could i even think for a moment that you were a true friend .

i'm done

i missed this friend of mine .
but now i've decided that if he doesnt want to talk to me .
then i don't miss him


lyrics to a song.

Am I supposed to put my life on holdBecause you don't know how to actAnd you don't know where your life is going.........
I don't care if I never see you againI'll be alrightTake this final piece of advice and get yourself together .........
I'm so over it, I've been there and back........


that says it all mostly .

but this will work too
You played me for a foolIn your life I was a tool I was always on your sideAlways there when u cried Telling you things so it didn’t seem so badMaking sure u didn’t get to madBelieving ever thing u told me Even if I knew it couldn’t beSmiled at you so u knew ever thing was okI thought in your life I would stayBut I guess feelings change

(feelings change and i don't miss you anymore .....as much )

never regret something that once made you smile .

someone posted that quote on msn , and it got me thinking . i regret things that once made me smile all the time . last night i was laying in bed and i thought of something that my friend did to me at a school retreat and i started to giggle . and he did was come up behind me at supper and squeeze my shoulders . at that moment i laughed and looked up at him . (it was suppose to hurt ....but it didnt ) . and now i've been trying to regret everything that i have ever done with him . and most of the things made me laugh . and made him laugh .

NEVER regret something that once made you smile .

heart

how do you tell your heart not to fall for someone ?
how do you make your heart turn away ?

these r some of the questions i've been asking my self 2day . and i can't answer any of them . i don't want to fall for this person but i fear that i can't stop it .

have you ever felt like something is 'ment to be ' ? but you don't want it to be . i have

but maybe this is just those weird summer feelings that i always seem to get ....
but they've never felt like this before.

summer

so i've started summer vacation . and so far its fun . my b-day is in 14 days . and i have to figure out what i want grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

its not fun anymore

so i have a friend , and we play fight but lately the play fighting isnt fun anymore . it hurts wwaayy too much . it hurts so much that when i got home yesterday i fell onto my bed crying i was so scared . i mean he can't be that good of a friend if he scares me. i thought about it and i'm like ''uno what he can't care too much if he can hurt me like that '' so now i'm kinda giving him the silent treatment.

he tells me stuff ...personal stuff but then he goes and hurts me ... he doesnt even say ''sorry'' its like he doesnt care ...but sometimes i think he does . ugh y do i keep makeing excuses for him . he doesnt need me to care cos he doesnt seem to care about me so y should i care about what that would do to his rep . its not like i could affect that " o look theres the guy who made her cry and gave her bruises . tisk tisk'' its not like it would affect him one little bit . he would probly srug it off " ok whatever "

and that would be that . well thats it i'm done i don't need to take crap from him .

does anyone read this anyhow ,

does anyone know that i'm even typeing this.


no
no
no
no
no

well final statement

'this isnt fun any more .' :(

together again !!!

we r back together. <3 <3 scratch that we NOT together again now we were when i posted this first

ugh

i havent wrote in a while srry . well i thought i would fill you in on things.
ok so erich and ariana r back together (gasp). ummmm. the sky is blue (shocker).....

uno what sometiems i hate how you think you know someone so well and then you find out that they know you way better than you them ,even tho u never thought that u put yourself out there . and you find out that they remember what you say even if you don't .

i also found out that i HATE HATE being told what to do . by teacher ,parents and expessialy by guys .


well thats all i feel like writing . (or venting w/e)


JUMPING UNICORNS THAT WAS FUN .

done

kk so i broke up with him

him

so almost all the ppl in my class know about Matt and i . and i don't know if that is good or bad. i guess in a sense its good . but it could be bad i have no idea . i guess I'll have to see what happens on Monday @ school. well gtg byeeee

yaaaaaaaaaaaa

he misses me . i'm happy cos that means that he was think bout me . or at least i think that that is what that means. and if so YAAAAAAAAAA . well i miss him i 've been think bout him . no doubt about that. and i miss him 2. but he lives in a diffrent town :( . and that makes me sad . cos we have no chance of bumping into each other on the weekends . unless i'm in town with inge. but that doesnt happen often. but i hope it does . ugh i miss him . but i'll c him on friday which will be good and on saturday yaaaaaaaaaa . well byeee


bye ppl

HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY

so as you can probably already Tell . I'm happy. wanna know what about . well lets say . that a certain someone told me a certain something that made me jump up and down and smile and hugg that certain someone. well OK in a round about way i just said . i like a guy who LIKES me for once. so hap-hap -happy. and ppl think I'm 2 happy but who cares. not me.

HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY. WHO . ME . HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY.

my world as of late

my world as of late is getting to be a bit mutch . remember ariana and erich i talked aobut. well their done. she broke up with him. and in my life like me personal life well it has been turned upside down.uno that guy mathew main i've talked about. well i no longer like him ,love him . nothing i feel nothing for him but sadness. but i think my heart is moving on . it's takeing a while and it hurts . cos i've become addicted to the pain of loving something i can't have . i never thought i would miss that feeling of 'i can't have that' and now i have this feeling of 'if i try hard enough i can have that ' but i won't say names cos i'm not sure what i want right now . but i think i know what i want. but it may take a while to figure out. and every one else seems to think that know exactly what i want. but how would they know . they can't read my mind and they don't understand me none of them get my thoughts. well there is a few ppl who get them but very few . anyway. i should go before i write a fricken book about my life. (i would never do that). well maybe u know what i want (or do you). if you know then tell me and i'll tell you how wrong u are. well thats my life as of late. ttyl hugghugg luv all around

hello

hey. i havent wrote in a while. srry bout that . i've been busy and i still am but not as busy.well ttyl nice writin u all

friends i think

OK so 2day this guy in my class came up 2 me and told me that a nother guy in our class thought that my eating thing was getting worse and that he was worried. and i didn't believe him but now i do cos that guy asked me if it was getting worse. but he didn't say if he was worried or not and i don't car but it would not bother me if he was worried . so i think that we r friends now i think. cos i guess we r friends or so it looks but i don't think that he thinks of me as a friend. but maybe he does how would i know. well ttyl

-MUSICGIRL